Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
