I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
