why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
