he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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