I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
