..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
