: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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