based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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