Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
