Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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