this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
