do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
