dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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