So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
