my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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