Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
