you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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