porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
