we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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