Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
