i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
