Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
