Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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