Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
