your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
