Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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