Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
