I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
