I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We got so high we made milksteak
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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