I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
