I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
