so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
