Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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