Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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