More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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