You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
