I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
