How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
