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where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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