Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
