this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
