im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
