so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
