Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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