A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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