just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
