I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
