I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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