Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
