My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
